


And You've Had Enough Of Silence

by gala_apples



Category: Glee
Genre: Closeted Character, Coming Out, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 19:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five worst ways to come out.</p><p>Written for Queer_fest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And You've Had Enough Of Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Emma's contamination issue is one I've shared and had to talk to my therapist about at length. Exposure therapy was not the right way to go about fixing it *snorts*. Everyone experiences OCD differently, but considering her issues about sex in the show I figured this might be another aspect of her particular set of fears.

1- During An Emergency

Will comes out when he’s fourteen. He’s standing on the sidewalk in his pyjamas. The concrete is freezing cold under his bare feet. Part of him resents the fact that his mom isn’t being very motherly, that she’s wearing slippers over socks and hasn’t given one iota of a thought to giving them to her baby boy. It’s a small part though, because most of him resents her for other things completely.

It’s fairly dark. It’s past eleven and their street doesn’t have lamps so everything is lit either by the moon, or the inferno engulfing their home. He looks at the way the white lines of his striped pyjama bottoms glow. Looking down is better than looking up. Looking up means seeing everything he knows being destroyed. Maybe it’s all the wine in the basement, but their house is burning strongly. The fire fighters don’t seem to be making progress. 

“I’m gay,” he says, because the smoke woke him from another dream about Bryan Ryan, and because it’s not like he can ruin their night any more.

What he forgot is that they can ruin his.

“William,” his mom says, her voice so full of disappointment it’s practically expanding.

“Son. If you walk back into the house we won’t tell Father Paul.”

Will’s confused for a second before it hits him. His dad’s just told him if he decides to commit suicide they’ll keep it from the priest so he can still be buried in church ground.

“I was joking,” he says hastily. If his parents want him straight or dead, he can be straight. He just has to date a girl and all his thoughts about boys will go away. Terri, maybe. She doesn’t have a boyfriend yet.

2- After a Failed Wedding

Emma comes out when she’s thirty three. After Will has all his minions sing to her and they start to have a talk Emma finally says what she needs to say. “I think I ran away because I don’t like men.”

“What? Emma what are you saying?”

“I’m not attracted to men, Will.”

“But we’ve kissed. We’ve talked about having sex!”

“It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it! Tell me the truth.”

The truth. Like that’s easy. Like all of her truths haven’t been ignored, over and over again since she was a child seeing the germs crawling over her food. But she has to try, because Will’s always tried to understand, to help. Even when he’s failed he’s _tried_ , and she can do the same.

“I like women. They’re beautiful, and I want them. I’ve wanted many over the years. But I can’t have sex with women. For as long as it took me to warm up to men, they’re much safer.”

“What? How?” Will doesn’t ask like he’s preparing to mock her. He’s asking like how he asked if helping scrub her grapes would actually be helping, or if she’d have to do it again, after he was done, because the fruit would have his germs.

“When you have sex with a man, the main act is penetration, for which you use a condom. When you have sex with a woman the main act is oral and what’s the point of oral sex when a dental dam means you can’t feel anything they’re doing? Sex with a woman is dirty, and I can’t, mentally, even if I want to.”

“Emma, I’m gay too.”

She gasps, because it’s expected, even though she always pretty much guessed. It’s why she hated Terri for years. She had the perfect sham marriage with Will, all the comfort and support without anything nasty, and then she ruined it by asking far too much.

“So I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t get married.”

She clasps her hands together. “Not necessarily. If we come out Sue could use it against us. She’d connive, and force parents into complaining. If our relationship is undefined it’ll be much safer both of us.”

“One day we’ll be more confident than her.”

“It’s not about confidence. It’s about picking your battles. Isn’t Glee more important than your own sexuality?”

“Glee’s more important than anything.”

And that, that _ferocity_ about what he loves is why out of any man in the world Emma would be straight for Will Schuester.

 

3- At a Frat Party

Finn is nineteen when he comes out. He’s at a poorly planned frat party. Signs that it was a last minute event are everywhere. The shit taped to the wall is definitely all New Years decorations, never mind that it’s March. The bowls that should hold normal chips hold nacho chips without any sign of something to put on top of them. The music is someone’s iPod on shuffle, and so far it’s been half Nickelback.

Worst of all, there are only two funnel and hose contraptions for the entire house full of underage drinkers. There’s less of a line to use the one nearest Finn and more of a seething mass. He’s somewhere in the crowd, not sure when he’ll get his turn, totally positive he’ll be able to chug the whole can no problem. He’s drunk enough from the bottles that his gag reflex has signed off for the night.

“My life would be so much easier if I just fucked him.” A bunch of the guys look at him so he decides to clarify. “it’s the first time I’ve said that, but it’s true.”

“Uh, you should be telling Puck that, not us,” Ronnie says.

Nemo breaks off and comes back with Puck in tow. Puck is super unimpressed, if Finn is judging his crossed arms and sneer correctly. “This better be important, you big cock blocker.”

When Ronnie elbows him Finn repeats what he said a minute ago. It’s generally best to do what Ronnie wants, since he basically owns the frat. “My life would be so much easier if I just fucked him.”

“You should really tell Mr Schue that.”

“Wait, that wasn’t about you?”

Before Finn can say he’s kinda into both of them, Puck answers. “You should hear some of the stuff they say to each other. They call each other partners.”

4- During Sex With A Girl

Puck is eighteen when he comes out. When it was agreed that Puck would be staying in Finn’s room, that Lee Heigh would be continuing to fuck off, there were a lot of conversations they should have had. They didn’t actually have any of them. Puck doesn’t necessarily want to go back in time to kick himself in the face, but he doesn’t not want to either.

One of the talks they should have had is the sock on the doorknob talk, otherwise known as what to do if your roommate is getting laid. Which, for the record, they both are. Ninety out of a hundred would just do the sock thing. There’s a reason that it’s a classic. What he and Finn do is both use the room whenever, regardless. Whomever’s not getting laid sleeps on the top bunk. Mostly because it’s cooler so it’s a good consolation prize, but also because it makes the next morning’s walk of shame easier since it doesn’t involve a ladder.

Well, Puck’s girls walk of shame. Finn’s only seeing Will.

Then comes the inevitable night that they both bring their date home. Puck gets there three minutes later. It’s still logical that Kelsie or Chelsea or whatever gets the bottom bunk, but Finn and Will have already claimed it. Whatever, he can still do his best on the top bunk. 

Unfortunately, his best makes her way too loud. Insanely, ear drum burstingly, I-bet-you-never-once-had-sex-when-your-parents-were-home-in-high-school loud. Puck can only put up with it for so long before he asks, rather politely, he thinks, “can you be quieter?”

“Are you serious?”

Something about her tone makes him snap. “Look. I’m kinda gay and the only motivation I have to keep fucking you is hearing the soundtrack of the two dudes in the other bunk.”

“I’m no one’s experiment,” she bitches. In less than a minute she’s leaving, probably to find someone else to hook up with for the night, like he wouldn’t have rocked her world regardless of his personal interests.

Any hope that they’re too busy to notice is crushed when Finn says, “were you serious?”

“I like you,” Puck says grudgingly.

“Not just Finn? Me too?”

“I know it’s awkward.” It is, truly. If Will just likes Finn it’s fine, but two graduated students is the beginning of an ugly pattern. And for his part, Puck has a lot of trouble not thinking of him as the only teacher that ever cared. Systematically only referring to him as Will has helped a little, but it’s still a toss up when Puck sees him if his first thought is ‘hot guy’ or ‘hot teacher’.

“I dunno how far this can go, but do you wanna watch? I mean, I know you’ve caught glimpses, but-”

Puck doesn’t waste any more time. He climbs down to the floor, condom still on his hard dick. Seeing them go at it can only help put Will into category one.

5- At a Family Dinner

Will is thirty nine when he comes out. Finn graduated three days ago and because Puck is Puck he planned out a week of celebrations for him. They did the extravagant dinner night. They did the ‘pretend we’re all Brian Kinney and take over a nightclub’ night. They did the ‘get Finn off so many times he’s coming dry’ night. Now though, is the first night that’s not strictly fun and games. Will gets why Puck set it up, he gets that Finn needs this kind of validation. He’s just doubtful it’ll go as well as they both imagine.

Will’s dining room table is past capacity. Mrs Puckerman is here, along with Sarah and Jake. Mr and Mrs Hudson-Hummel are here, with Kurt and Blaine. His mom and dad are here. The only one that knows the extent of their relationship is Jake, because last year he didn’t know if he should apply to the same school as Ryder and Marley or if what they had was just a silly high school arrangement. 

Will’s terrified. His parents are his parents, but objectively they’re horrible people. The longer he thinks about how he’s going to explain himself the more elaborate the disaster scenes get in his his head. Finally he just touches both his parents arms. “Could you pass my boyfriend Finn the pickles? And could you pass my other boyfriend Noah the salt?”

Puck raises an eyebrow, clearly saying _really, that’s the best you could do_ , but he holds out a hand for the salt.

He’s the only person to take the words silently. Jake says _congratulations_ , and Sarah, unwilling to be outdone by her half brother says _when’s your anniversary_? The Hudmels go mama bear, with _this better have started in college_ and _you weren't pressured, were you_ , while Mrs Puckerman takes another gulp of her white wine and laughs and says _wouldn’t be the first teacher Noah fucked_.

Kurt, predictably, turns it into another issue about him. “When you told me college was for experimenting I should have known you were gay. I thought you were doing drugs, but I should have trusted my sophomore self. I mean, I was right about Sam too.”

“How many times do I have to tell you bisexuality exists,” his fiance mutters, like it’s an argument they’ve had more times than they can count. Knowing Kurt and Blaine they probably have.

All of it, the Puckerman blaise to the Hudmel protectiveness to the soft bickering of Kurt and Blaine is better to listen to than his parents slamming him with everything they’ve got. It’s ugly to hear, and they’re nowhere near winding down. If anything it’s the opposite. Will can see it in their eyes, any second now they’ll storm out. But then Finn says _thanks_ , and then _I love you_ , and there’s a gentle kick from Puck that means the same thing, and Will just can’t bring himself to care.


End file.
